I havnt been on this thing for like ever haha. But since its my first post in forever i think ill vent.

Arnt you happy?

Haha well ive realised that people always want things. No matter what ur doing if someone needs something they feel free to ask. Now im ok with that to some point. But if you cant have a good aditude when someone says no, dont ask!

Im sick and people wont leave me alone. Its just like i want some space.

So if anyone wants something from me, id be glad, just dont get all sarcastic if i dont reply. 

peace and love,

katieboo 

omg i havnt posted in forever. ugh ok thats it my bf doesnt get to see me till i have posted 200 more blogs haha i miss every1 :((

Feel... emotionless.

I dont know if its for a reason or not but i cant stopthinking about my aunt kim. Its somthing that i dont think will ever make any sence. Death doesnt make sence no matter what anyone says it doesnt. How can someone... just stop living... how can they die and never come back. It doesnt seem possible. Its strange to be able to see that person in your mind.. to remember their voice and how they smelled.

I guess people might say your to young to understand. I know someone who has told me that many times. And yes maybe im young... but i will never understand it.

I also dont get how no matter what i write i just end up deleteing it or tearing it up because it doesnt really express how i feel.  The words arent the right ones and the way its written never sounds like it should. And then at night you can be thinking about somthing completly different and someone says one thing and you think of the person who is gone.  Am i just weak or somthing that i cant handle this.

I want someone to have the answers to the un known.

But that wont happen.........

Watch

They smile because of your amazingness

They laugh because of your funnyness

Watch

Why would we lie to you

When you look in the mirror i wish you saw you

I wish he really knew what i knew about you

I know he thinks he does

And i know you think he does too

But i know somthing neither of you know.

Dont tell me that you need to be prettier

Because your as pretty as i can stand.

Dont tell me than its all a lie.

Because i wouldnt lie to you.

Im happy for you

Honestly i really am

But i wish i would at least get one chance

Me and him both know that he will

Me and him both know i wont

But you just sit there and laugh my love

Because thats the most important thing

Ill lay here forever and i will always have your back when he doesnt

I will be your best friend

Forever

Untill u dont want me around anymore

Thats when i will leave

Thats when you will be even more happy

Cause you wont have to worry about me standing behind u crying.

That i havnt posted anything in awhile i have been busy... Ok well i guess seeing eric like every day isnt being busy. But hey it takes up alot of time. Plus i just started school. But then again that only takes me about 2 hours to finish. WELL I MISSED ALL OF YOU!! 

How tall are you?
5'4"

Do you like bananas?
uhh yea

What is your favorite song of all time?
hmmm well my song is coma white

What do you do on Fridays?
uhhhhh ....... stuff?

Flip flops or sandals?
...flip flops. though i thought they were the same

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
vitamin water

Have you had a beer in the past week?
nope.

If you could have one super human power, what would you choose?
one where i could finish school in an hour.

What is your favorite place?
depends on my mood

Do you read Harry Potter books?
yup

What is your favorite food?
dont have 1

Where do you want to travel next?
anywhere, idc where i just hate being HERE

What is your favorite PJ fabric?
i honestly  just wear my clothes to bed...

Boat or bus?
ummm bus

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
not sure

Do you shower every single day?
nope

Kill the spider or let it out?
kill kill kill

What is your favorite TV show?
charm school

Do you eat cold cereal at night?
mmhmm

Define yourself in 3 words?
uhhhhhh welll ummm...

Would you rather be blind or death?
..idk i would probably pick... ughhh idk.

Are you a cat or a dog person?
dog

Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?
uhhh bad cough i guess

Favorite fruit?
apples

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
juice and crackers

Who are you going to vote for in 2008?
cant vote and wouldnt if i could

Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape or other?
firefox

What was your last thought?
to be honest idk... ooo robert

Favorite element?
rain

Where is Waldo?
in my closet

Do you support Paris?
paris hilton??? yeah

Why did the chicken cross the road?
cause it wanted to ?

Your favorite Disney films?
i like alot of them

If you had to pick one car, which would it be?
honda element

Most embarrassing moment?
not sure.

Most memorable past?
right now? i cant tell u cause its a secret : ]

What is your favorite clothing brand?
tripp

Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
concert

Favorite Place to Eat?
dont have 1

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
....leg.. i need my arm.

Would you rather be hot or cold?
cold

T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel?
at&t

Water or 100% Juice?
water

What size shoe do you wear?
9

How do you feel?
...right now? hyper and tiredd.

Romance or Kinky Sex?
and i should tell u because????

Get the number or give the number?
uhhh...sorrry but idk what ur talking about

When do you plan on getting married?
tommorow! haha jkjk

Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?
im getting hello kitty on my sholder and cherries on my ankle

Who do you admire most?
haley maggie eric robert josh my aunt kim and aunt monica and my mom

Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?
i have 8 but i only have 1 thats completly mine

Where do you see yourself in five years?
i dont wanna think abou tit

If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?
Umm.... i would hang out with all my friends and think about everything.

What is your favourite word?
hmmmm oOOOOOOOO its umm... im just gonna say..... love.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Australia oorrrr chicago with maggie

Would you rather...?
Be on "Trading Spouses" or " Celebrity Fit Club"?
Celebrity fit club

Gain 17 pounds or break your leg?
break my leg

Drink only grape Kool-Aid or only apple juice for a week?
apple juice

Be named "Saskatchawan" or "Philadelphia"?
........uuuuummmm philidelphia

Lose an ear or go permenantly bald?
bald.. i could always get a wig

Watch 24-hours of CNN or Court TV?
....court tv

Drink pickle juice or eat Vienna Sausages?
pickle juice

Drive a car with no air conditioning or with no locks?
ac

Lose your cell phone for a week or sleep outside for three days?
sleep outside. I cant be w.o my cell its how i talk to my <3

Spend your life as a mailman or a lawnmower?
wow... mail man

Have to read three books in a week or give a 3-minute speech in front of 200 people?
depends is the speech already written?

Lose a hundred dollars or lose your vision for 5 hours?
100$ i dont like having anything wrong with me even temperarily

Sell flowers or  sell vacuum cleaners?
flowers

Fail a test or get punched in the face?
......fail a test

Haha and also... this has nothing to do with paris or the stupid movie.. but is there a shark in spongebob now????

and i forgot.. i have pink hair now :)))))) YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sorry i havnt been on here in like forever! omg so yesterday i was with my bf all day. and his dad took me and him and his brother to rent a dvd.. ok me and eric picked house of wax...... never.. ever... again..... now i think that this lovely person is gonna be in my room to wake me up with burning hot wax

Haha it was funny i like hid behind eric the whole time.......... but my new rule... im never going to a wax exhibit.. or anything.. and if someone asks..... i will scream my head off. Im not gonna die like paris hilton!!!!!!

Rule #1:
If you open this you GOTTA take it.

Rule # 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone
messages you and asks.

Rule #3:
Only answer True or False.


Q: Been kissed by someone on your top friends--> T
Q: Been arrested?-->F
Q: Kissed someone you didn't like?--> f
Q: You like someone?--> T
Q: Held a snake?--> f
Q: Been suspended from school?--> f
Q: Kissed in the rain?--> f
Q: Sang in the shower?--> t
Q: been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?--> f
Q: Broken a bone?--> F
Q: Shaved your head?--> F
Q: Played a prank on someone?--> t
Q: Had/have a gym membership?--> T
Q: Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?--> t
Q: Donated Blood?--> F
Q: Had your heart broken?--> T
Q: Broken someone's heart?--> f......t

"Who was your last?"
just be 100% truthful
LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with?-->eric
2. last person you texted?--> eric
3. You were in a vehicle with?--> grandma, eric
4. Went to the movies with?-->eric

5. Went to the mall with?--> eric lol
6. You talked to on the phone?--> macie
7. Made you laugh? --> maggie
8. You hugged?-->eric

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1. Strip tease or run through street naked?--> strip

2. Serious or funny? --> FUNNY
3. Drink whole or skim milk?--> skim

4. Die in a fire or get shot?--> fire

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Sun or moon?--> M00N

2. Winter or Fall?--> fall

3. Left or right?--> Right

4. Sunny or rainy?--> rainy
5. Hugs or kisses?--> Kisses

6. Where do you live? sumwhere
7. Rock or Techno?--> rock

8. Do you want to get married?--> no i don't really believe in it... idk

9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?-- both

10.Do you Cook?--> yup
11. Current mood?--> kinda lonly

LAST 72 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone?--> yup

2. Sang?--> yup
3. Been hugged?--> yup

4. Like someone you can't have?--> i hav 4 a couple of months now

Even though they suck they are the best :)))))!

see i steped on a tack and yeah....

Sorry people i am at the beach and i prob won't behome for awhile sooo. YEA I LOVE YOU ALL. you better miss me if u don't well.. go.....die. Yup!

Babe look at me for once in the eye. I feel like i can't get out of ur life. Now ur pushing me away. I never said i wanted to leave. This might surprise you but i love you. No don't look at me like im lieing. I just want ur attention. Now i know that the quiet voices in ur head take up some of my time but im willing to repeat things a few times. You happen to be very weird. And this happenes to be very awkweird. But i must admit im just about to hit u. Im not asking you for anything like ur heart. Cause babe i knoticed that it never will be fully mine. So don't ask me why im not giving u all of mine. It only takes one to mess up a relationship. So why not both play the same game. But back to why i want ur attention. Did u knotice that this is getting harder each and every time. And i know that ur wishing u didn't know me. But whats ur life like when im not around? Ive left at least 6 times now. And each time one of us makes the other come back. We both are very smart. Imagine if for once we both were aiming for the same thing. And up till a while ago i was completly convinced we were.

Did u really just say your sorry.

Wow  thank you.

Is it that your scared that once i leave i won't come back.

breakup songs never helped me cause they all said i will get over you. But i havn't and its been almost 7 months. I won't get over you. Can't you get i love you. I will do as whatever i think of to get you back. and i guess i have some work to do but i will

Im not happy

you want me to grow up. OK  gladly i will. I think not having a dad and a mom who is not around alot, having my other mom die and having to live with my grandparents my whole life MAKES ME ALITTLE MORE GROWN UP! what do u want me to do. yea im gonna make mistakes and u have made more than i would even think about. so don't come around telling me to

the knife that ur holding doesn't prove a thing.

Did u really think that i would freak out if you made any marks with it

Im really waiting for you to stab it deep just so u can feel wat its like

No im not gonna stop you cause you started it

"well i guess you don't love me"

FUCK YOU!

if you thought a little razor blade would make me prove i love you, you were sooooo wrong.

You gotta lot to prove and i really didn't think u would go through with it.

and wow.. you didn't cause ur still here...

DAMN IT!

Im not your whore hunni

Im not your slave

I think you got the wrong idea baby

I don't play these these games love

I don't play hard to get your right

But then again do u see my stripping in front of any guy who walks near me

Did u really think that you could change me??

Cause im not changeable

Tell me the people  i love suck

Tell me how i could be 100 times better

But baby im happy the way i am 

Started with that day
Ended with this one
A long time in between


It started with a mom…
The person who I was
Jelious of
Loved by
Worried about
Scared of
But loved..
Now she is gone.. so we move on..


It started with a boy
The person who
Kept me safe
Who said he loved me
Who was my best friend but more
But now he is gone, so we move on…

In between I fall apart

But this man decided he would safe me from hell..
He was hell.
But now he is gone, so I move on

I fall to the ground and cry, cause I didn’t move on. And it built up. This is the story of my end, and the start of my beginning…

This guy has stolen my heart and  hes got that “im in love with u” look in his eyes.

Well that was a while ago. And things have changed. Now hes not around. And he never talks to me.

And now we aren’t close.

He just knows that im still me. He talks to other girls, and begs them to take him out.

Well they all no me. And don’t let that happen.

I guess i feel kinda guilty

 But i really shouldnt.

You were a cheater too so i have no guilt. 

It only takes 2 people to mess up a relationship.

You were great for the 1st kiss but after all u wanted was more. You changed me love and i won't be the same. So shouldn't u feel guilty now? I did nothing. you did. haha i hope ur happy now

I can't show you my heart hun.

But can't u see it through my eyes?

Im making it as obvious as i can.

You are too far away i guess.

Look deeper and maybe you will be able to figure it out.

I wouldn't keep coming back if i didn't love you.

You tell me i don't, but what is it then?

To everyone else your the weirest person in the room, but to me your the only one.

At night your who i think about.

So i know i love you, don't try to tell me otherwise. 

i don't like snape anymore...  ugh poor fish

IS MY FISHES NAME... untill tommorow when i think of somthing else

i lost 3 more pounds.YAYYYYY. And i went shopping.. i bought a fishy!!!!

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o267/katemadden123/P1010017.jpg

Can everyone look at his pic and give me some ideas for a name?? 

i don't wanna name him bob or nemo i want a really cool name and so far none of them are working.  

Pretty girl is a song by sugarcult, its my favorite song. I decided to take the lyrics from the song and turn them into a poem.

Pretty girl meets a guy

He tells her beautiful lies

Pretty girl is suffering

Now that hes explaining all his lies

Pretty Girl went back to him

Cause he told her more beautiful lies

Pretty girl i suffering while he confesses everything

 Pretty girl knows that she shouldn't go back.

But pretty girl does anyway.

Cause he tells pretty girl all these beautiful lies.

Its the way he shows her shes beautiful, and the way he kisses her.

 Pretty girl is suffering.

Im not asking you for help anymore. It does nothing except make me upset. Why do i trust you? I guess whoever u were yesterday isn't who u are today. And btw.. i don't love u. Your just a stupid ass guy. So now i have someone else i guess whatever u say to me i shouldn't care. But i loved you so it hurts. Oh yeah i hope ur stupid message changes soon cause im not gonna listen to you.

Now now don't u think its funny that i got a bf in 3 hours with out ur help. Now why can't u get off ur lazy ass and get a gf cause im sick of u making excuses just so that i will come back to u. You know all along u just wanted me to come back when i left. And i have too many times. Hunni why can't u just try there are people like u who u can actually be with. Try it! I know u know how.

I see you left after 5 days for the 10394 time and its ok with me. Sure i will miss you but im happy your gone cause i get tired of you. Well i hope ur happy with whoever ur with tommorow cause baby it won't be me. Im glad u think my bf is a bad person and that my friends suck. Cause it amuzes me how u can say that he cheats when ur the cheater and how u call him a lier when ur the lier.

When ur born ur heart is perfect there are no marks or cuts in it.

After ur 1st lie when ur little u get a little gash. And after the gult takes over and u tell what happened the gash heals up.

Then after ur first crush not liking u u get a little scar. It fades alittle but its still there.

After ur first "love" dumps u you think that nothing will ever be ok so hundreds of scars and bruses cover ur heart.

Then after awhile u relise ur ok so most of them heal.

But when u forever loose someone you love, the scars don't heal.

So most of us die with a "broken heart"

Dont blink

Don't blink

You just saw the flash

You saw the fall

How come you don't know what happened

Don't blink

Don't Blink

Cause if you do

You won't know what happened

You heard the crash

You saw the result

But what happened in the second between

Don't blink

Don't blink

Cause then you won't understand what happened

You don't understand

Here is what u want

Me to talk email u as many times a day as i can be near a computer.

Not to talk to any other guy and even think about him in a non friend way

To think b4 i even say hey babe

To give u everything i have to give to someone

Hunni u already have my heart wasn't that enough. Can't u give me some credit for that. Can't i keep my legs and mouth shut and have u be happy with what i gave u. That all i have from u and its all i want. reading some book isn't gonna make me grown up. Making 948583 mistakes is whats gonna change me. And if u don't want to be around for the result of my mistakes, there is a block button, you have used it b4. Now im not saying leave im giving u a choice. I want you around but do u want to be. If your gonna be i just want what i give u to be enough. If its not then im not gonna try anymore. If u leave can u leave me heart at the door, and not step on it on the way out. The key is always under the door mat but if u want back in u have to use it.

You could never know me so why do u try. Your not good enough anyways u never will be. You should just give up cause ur worthless babe please just leave! Im not thinking when im talking this time cause i just am tired of being the girl who hurt u. now its my turn to complain ur a lier and a person i never really knew and i never will. Do u knotice the blood in my hand yeah its all ur fault. CAN U TAKE RESPONSIBLITY FOR IT FOR ONCE! Don't try to blame matt or anyone else baby cause its all ur fault. Im tired of agreeing with somthing thats a lie. Im tired of u but i love u. I can't let go and thats whats causing all of this. I just want u gone but when u leave will u please come back. don't leave babe but please don't stay. im the mental one now and i think its ur fault.

Haha ok well my party rocked and matt made me watch charlie the unicorn everyone should whatch it cause its so stupid!!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyuslie

I had a care bear party. and the care bears were emo! oh and yeah btw i love3 nine inch nails now cause its amazing. Ok well i need to go so yeah i love u all!

Abby

Ok so marilyn manson just got new band members and im mad at him

now come on sumthing must be up if even pogo left...

"Gacy did not contribute to Marilyn Manson's album Eat Me, Drink Me and shortly before its release was said to have left the band and returned to his home in Florida. His duration of his departure is indefinite, though Chris Vrenna has been confirmed as his live replacement for the tour to promote Eat Me, Drink Me."

Hey everyone

Well ok today i got a tonnnn of my math done and in 2 days im done school! YAYYYYY. And i got alot of cds and my marilyn manson cd so i'ts all good (as my bf would say he keeps saying it.. he has al day.. anywhooo). And for a really long time i have had little bumps on my arms that are red and im really pale and i like it that way but they are really knoticieable but today i found out what it is. But the bad news.. its apparently NOT cureable. Now come on its very common.. but no cure? thats just wrong. ugh i hate this!

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o267/katemadden123/mz_0803_10012725972.gif

its funny :)

Is just a boring stupid day. However im happy cause last night i burned pictures of ex bf's and listened to music and talked to jon so yupp im happy. I still need that marilyn manson cd cause im wayyyy behind on getting it. OOO my b-day party is on saturday so im excited!!! lol u know life isn't that horrible even though it can be a pain in the ass. You just have to take the good and the bad and make them both better then good. Ok that didnt make alot of sence but i do have bras hanging from my fan. Lol

Marilyn mansons new cd... so today i have to go to the store and buy it. And yes i was crying about it. I FORGOT! i mean how could i be that stupid. UGH it just goes to show u that when im thinking about someone *cough*matt*cough* i forget everything. Stupid matt.. im blaming this all on him! lol no its not his fault but still im pretty ticked off about that.

But anywho i love u all

xoxoxox

abby

Ever needs any advice, feel free to ask me. I love giving advice, though somtimes i won't be able to help. But im emo kinda and i have gone through alot and im really cool cause i don't judge people and im cool with venting on me and calling me a slut or somthing like that. Message me if u wanna,

My aim is : katemadden21

my msn is: loveless-hope@hotmail.com

And my yahoo is : absinthegrl

You constantly hurt me but i don't give up.. i know that im hoping for u to say babe i miss u. But thats not gonna happen im not good enough. but u know what ive changed. YOU arn't good enough, yet if u would just ask me what i want u to i would say yes no matter what. but no love that will never happen cause im not her. W.e im not putting myself through this just for u. I have alot of time on my hands and u don't have to be part of it. I will never forget u and i will never forgive u. Just go to ur safe place, but it won't be safe for long i can get in.

About me loosing 5 pounds. i mean really its amazing. Hahah im realyl happy so how is everyone else today?????

Ok so b4 anyone asks maggie is my best best best friend and shes like my sister. Shes the kind of person who says to the guy who rejects u "its just because ur gay isnt it". I love her more than my life and if she dies i die. I would kill anyone who hurts her to much. And when i say anyone, haha i mean it. Shes gonna be my kids god mother. And sadly im sure that if she ever has to take care of them they will make her life living hell. BUT ITS OK! she can handle it.... *i hope* Shes my bitch and my whore and no im not sharing. I love her more than furry handcuffs and other stuff that im not gonna mention. Haha i love her ant obbsession. And to make this short. Shes the bestest friend i could have asked 4 this is my icon for her.. so enjoy :}                                             

Hello my pretties :) here is my blog for today.. U know i dont think people know how boring church is till u go and have to sit there for 3 hours. Buts its oks, u get to dress up. Of course i wore a black dress and white necklaces because i wanted to stand out. Which i did against all people wearing shirts that even cover up there neck. Then when i got home i fell asleep. I love sleeping. Its somthing i just could do for the rest of my life and i would be so happy. But that will never happen so i will just dream about it in my dreams. I don't really have any complaining to do today. BUT i have been doing a diet program now for 3 days and im amazed cause i have more energy! *sighs* my ex bf whom i still love decided me and him should work out our differences. Which is fine by me. But i don't have any clue how we wil do that. I guess somehow we will. I also wanted to say ive been on here for.. what is it now 2 days? and i love it! All of u are so nice! Even with my weirdness u all have accepted me. Btw since i talk about my exbf's ALOT i figured i should explain them                                                       1. Zayle (hes the one i have dated probably 94858403 times and it hasn't worked so far)                                               2. Dan (i don't even know what has happened to him)                                                                                                        3. Matt (we already know about him *read my past blogs*                                                                                               4. Jon (hes my current bf and its working out really well *for now that is...*                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      well i have work to do my loves. So i will have to leave u now... *lots of hugs*                                                                               ~k8tie<3

Haha i just had to write somthing about this song. Its amazing and i love it. Everyone has to listen to it.. OR ELSE. but.. unless u are ok with.. some... uh.. very interesting things.. don't watch the music video for it. Its pretty much just him having sex with his new gf. But anywho.. .....

Ok so there is this guy named matt. And i dated him for 4 months (not that long i know but still) then one day he says "well i don't wanna date u anymore sorry. I still love you but i can't date u" Does that make any sence? if u love someone u date them! ugh but that was a couple months ago so i should be over it. But im not. Cause now hes really mean to me. But w.e thats life i guess....