Feel... emotionless.

I dont know if its for a reason or not but i cant stopthinking about my aunt kim. Its somthing that i dont think will ever make any sence. Death doesnt make sence no matter what anyone says it doesnt. How can someone... just stop living... how can they die and never come back. It doesnt seem possible. Its strange to be able to see that person in your mind.. to remember their voice and how they smelled.

I guess people might say your to young to understand. I know someone who has told me that many times. And yes maybe im young... but i will never understand it.

I also dont get how no matter what i write i just end up deleteing it or tearing it up because it doesnt really express how i feel.  The words arent the right ones and the way its written never sounds like it should. And then at night you can be thinking about somthing completly different and someone says one thing and you think of the person who is gone.  Am i just weak or somthing that i cant handle this.

I want someone to have the answers to the un known.

But that wont happen.........

Watch

They smile because of your amazingness

They laugh because of your funnyness

Watch

Why would we lie to you

When you look in the mirror i wish you saw you

I wish he really knew what i knew about you

I know he thinks he does

And i know you think he does too

But i know somthing neither of you know.

Dont tell me that you need to be prettier

Because your as pretty as i can stand.

Dont tell me than its all a lie.

Because i wouldnt lie to you.

Im happy for you

Honestly i really am

But i wish i would at least get one chance

Me and him both know that he will

Me and him both know i wont

But you just sit there and laugh my love

Because thats the most important thing

Ill lay here forever and i will always have your back when he doesnt

I will be your best friend

Forever

Untill u dont want me around anymore

Thats when i will leave

Thats when you will be even more happy

Cause you wont have to worry about me standing behind u crying.

That i havnt posted anything in awhile i have been busy... Ok well i guess seeing eric like every day isnt being busy. But hey it takes up alot of time. Plus i just started school. But then again that only takes me about 2 hours to finish. WELL I MISSED ALL OF YOU!!