Babe look at me for once in the eye. I feel like i can't get out of ur life. Now ur pushing me away. I never said i wanted to leave. This might surprise you but i love you. No don't look at me like im lieing. I just want ur attention. Now i know that the quiet voices in ur head take up some of my time but im willing to repeat things a few times. You happen to be very weird. And this happenes to be very awkweird. But i must admit im just about to hit u. Im not asking you for anything like ur heart. Cause babe i knoticed that it never will be fully mine. So don't ask me why im not giving u all of mine. It only takes one to mess up a relationship. So why not both play the same game. But back to why i want ur attention. Did u knotice that this is getting harder each and every time. And i know that ur wishing u didn't know me. But whats ur life like when im not around? Ive left at least 6 times now. And each time one of us makes the other come back. We both are very smart. Imagine if for once we both were aiming for the same thing. And up till a while ago i was completly convinced we were.

Did u really just say your sorry.

Wow  thank you.

Is it that your scared that once i leave i won't come back.

breakup songs never helped me cause they all said i will get over you. But i havn't and its been almost 7 months. I won't get over you. Can't you get i love you. I will do as whatever i think of to get you back. and i guess i have some work to do but i will

Im not happy

you want me to grow up. OK  gladly i will. I think not having a dad and a mom who is not around alot, having my other mom die and having to live with my grandparents my whole life MAKES ME ALITTLE MORE GROWN UP! what do u want me to do. yea im gonna make mistakes and u have made more than i would even think about. so don't come around telling me to

the knife that ur holding doesn't prove a thing.

Did u really think that i would freak out if you made any marks with it

Im really waiting for you to stab it deep just so u can feel wat its like

No im not gonna stop you cause you started it

"well i guess you don't love me"

FUCK YOU!

if you thought a little razor blade would make me prove i love you, you were sooooo wrong.

You gotta lot to prove and i really didn't think u would go through with it.

and wow.. you didn't cause ur still here...

DAMN IT!

Im not your whore hunni

Im not your slave

I think you got the wrong idea baby

I don't play these these games love

I don't play hard to get your right

But then again do u see my stripping in front of any guy who walks near me

Did u really think that you could change me??

Cause im not changeable

Tell me the people  i love suck

Tell me how i could be 100 times better

But baby im happy the way i am 

Started with that day
Ended with this one
A long time in between


It started with a mom…
The person who I was
Jelious of
Loved by
Worried about
Scared of
But loved..
Now she is gone.. so we move on..


It started with a boy
The person who
Kept me safe
Who said he loved me
Who was my best friend but more
But now he is gone, so we move on…

In between I fall apart

But this man decided he would safe me from hell..
He was hell.
But now he is gone, so I move on

I fall to the ground and cry, cause I didn’t move on. And it built up. This is the story of my end, and the start of my beginning…

This guy has stolen my heart and  hes got that “im in love with u” look in his eyes.

Well that was a while ago. And things have changed. Now hes not around. And he never talks to me.

And now we aren’t close.

He just knows that im still me. He talks to other girls, and begs them to take him out.

Well they all no me. And don’t let that happen.

I guess i feel kinda guilty

 But i really shouldnt.

You were a cheater too so i have no guilt. 

It only takes 2 people to mess up a relationship.

You were great for the 1st kiss but after all u wanted was more. You changed me love and i won't be the same. So shouldn't u feel guilty now? I did nothing. you did. haha i hope ur happy now

I can't show you my heart hun.

But can't u see it through my eyes?

Im making it as obvious as i can.

You are too far away i guess.

Look deeper and maybe you will be able to figure it out.

I wouldn't keep coming back if i didn't love you.

You tell me i don't, but what is it then?

To everyone else your the weirest person in the room, but to me your the only one.

At night your who i think about.

So i know i love you, don't try to tell me otherwise. 

i don't like snape anymore...  ugh poor fish

IS MY FISHES NAME... untill tommorow when i think of somthing else

i lost 3 more pounds.YAYYYYY. And i went shopping.. i bought a fishy!!!!

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o267/katemadden123/P1010017.jpg

Can everyone look at his pic and give me some ideas for a name?? 

i don't wanna name him bob or nemo i want a really cool name and so far none of them are working.  

Pretty girl is a song by sugarcult, its my favorite song. I decided to take the lyrics from the song and turn them into a poem.

Pretty girl meets a guy

He tells her beautiful lies

Pretty girl is suffering

Now that hes explaining all his lies

Pretty Girl went back to him

Cause he told her more beautiful lies

Pretty girl i suffering while he confesses everything

 Pretty girl knows that she shouldn't go back.

But pretty girl does anyway.

Cause he tells pretty girl all these beautiful lies.

Its the way he shows her shes beautiful, and the way he kisses her.

 Pretty girl is suffering.

Im not asking you for help anymore. It does nothing except make me upset. Why do i trust you? I guess whoever u were yesterday isn't who u are today. And btw.. i don't love u. Your just a stupid ass guy. So now i have someone else i guess whatever u say to me i shouldn't care. But i loved you so it hurts. Oh yeah i hope ur stupid message changes soon cause im not gonna listen to you.

Now now don't u think its funny that i got a bf in 3 hours with out ur help. Now why can't u get off ur lazy ass and get a gf cause im sick of u making excuses just so that i will come back to u. You know all along u just wanted me to come back when i left. And i have too many times. Hunni why can't u just try there are people like u who u can actually be with. Try it! I know u know how.

I see you left after 5 days for the 10394 time and its ok with me. Sure i will miss you but im happy your gone cause i get tired of you. Well i hope ur happy with whoever ur with tommorow cause baby it won't be me. Im glad u think my bf is a bad person and that my friends suck. Cause it amuzes me how u can say that he cheats when ur the cheater and how u call him a lier when ur the lier.

When ur born ur heart is perfect there are no marks or cuts in it.

After ur 1st lie when ur little u get a little gash. And after the gult takes over and u tell what happened the gash heals up.

Then after ur first crush not liking u u get a little scar. It fades alittle but its still there.

After ur first "love" dumps u you think that nothing will ever be ok so hundreds of scars and bruses cover ur heart.

Then after awhile u relise ur ok so most of them heal.

But when u forever loose someone you love, the scars don't heal.

So most of us die with a "broken heart"

Dont blink

Don't blink

You just saw the flash

You saw the fall

How come you don't know what happened

Don't blink

Don't Blink

Cause if you do

You won't know what happened

You heard the crash

You saw the result

But what happened in the second between

Don't blink

Don't blink

Cause then you won't understand what happened

You don't understand

Here is what u want

Me to talk email u as many times a day as i can be near a computer.

Not to talk to any other guy and even think about him in a non friend way

To think b4 i even say hey babe

To give u everything i have to give to someone

Hunni u already have my heart wasn't that enough. Can't u give me some credit for that. Can't i keep my legs and mouth shut and have u be happy with what i gave u. That all i have from u and its all i want. reading some book isn't gonna make me grown up. Making 948583 mistakes is whats gonna change me. And if u don't want to be around for the result of my mistakes, there is a block button, you have used it b4. Now im not saying leave im giving u a choice. I want you around but do u want to be. If your gonna be i just want what i give u to be enough. If its not then im not gonna try anymore. If u leave can u leave me heart at the door, and not step on it on the way out. The key is always under the door mat but if u want back in u have to use it.

You could never know me so why do u try. Your not good enough anyways u never will be. You should just give up cause ur worthless babe please just leave! Im not thinking when im talking this time cause i just am tired of being the girl who hurt u. now its my turn to complain ur a lier and a person i never really knew and i never will. Do u knotice the blood in my hand yeah its all ur fault. CAN U TAKE RESPONSIBLITY FOR IT FOR ONCE! Don't try to blame matt or anyone else baby cause its all ur fault. Im tired of agreeing with somthing thats a lie. Im tired of u but i love u. I can't let go and thats whats causing all of this. I just want u gone but when u leave will u please come back. don't leave babe but please don't stay. im the mental one now and i think its ur fault.

Haha ok well my party rocked and matt made me watch charlie the unicorn everyone should whatch it cause its so stupid!!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyuslie

I had a care bear party. and the care bears were emo! oh and yeah btw i love3 nine inch nails now cause its amazing. Ok well i need to go so yeah i love u all!

Abby

Ok so marilyn manson just got new band members and im mad at him

now come on sumthing must be up if even pogo left...

"Gacy did not contribute to Marilyn Manson's album Eat Me, Drink Me and shortly before its release was said to have left the band and returned to his home in Florida. His duration of his departure is indefinite, though Chris Vrenna has been confirmed as his live replacement for the tour to promote Eat Me, Drink Me."

Hey everyone

Well ok today i got a tonnnn of my math done and in 2 days im done school! YAYYYYY. And i got alot of cds and my marilyn manson cd so i'ts all good (as my bf would say he keeps saying it.. he has al day.. anywhooo). And for a really long time i have had little bumps on my arms that are red and im really pale and i like it that way but they are really knoticieable but today i found out what it is. But the bad news.. its apparently NOT cureable. Now come on its very common.. but no cure? thats just wrong. ugh i hate this!

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o267/katemadden123/mz_0803_10012725972.gif

its funny :)